With a kiss, I’d pass the key
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Have you ever tossed a key into the rubbish without deep, unconscious guilt? Neither have I. Keys can be Talismans. They are emblematic of security, but they can also remind us of confinement too. In Astronomy, the glyph for the cosmic body 2060 Chiron is a monogram of the letters O.K, or Object Kowal, the initial name it was given when founded by Astronomer Charles T. Kowal in 1977. The glyph also looks a lot like an old key. In Astrology, the Chiron placement on our birth chart can be emblematic of our unconscious wounds. The tender and vulnerable parts of us that we keep under lock and key, in an attempt to avoid further harm.
Show Your Wound, 1977- Joseph Beuys
I recently spent an entire day with my Mum on a grand search for old keys. I wanted to present one to each of my Chiron workshop participants, and so we trawled through every Op Shop that we could find, all the way down the Peninsular and back again. In my mind's eye, I had a vision that I would find a collection of these old keys in a wooden box, hidden in the hardware section amongst the screws. bolts and nails that folks had held onto, and eventually given away to charity. Old bits of metal that someone from the past felt obliged to keep safe, just in case someone else might find them useful. Most of us want to leave something behind to help the next generation, and sometimes we give away our wounds to them too, unconsciously or not.
We journeyed far and wide but we didn't find the keys, at least not the ones I was looking for. However, as we drove through nearly every neighbourhood that I can remember from my childhood, the key to my own unconscious wounding grew all the more obvious to me. A hollow loneliness echoed louder in my mind with each town and community that we passed by. As my defences tried to lock down these old memories, I held my Astrological knowledge close to my heart and reminded myself that on my birth chart, my Chiron placement sits nestled in Taurus, in my 3rd house, conjunct the IC. This means that my Chiron wound speaks to the pain of alienation, within my village, and from my past.
I’ve felt unwelcome for a lot of my life. I learned early on what rejection smells like and unfortunately it has affected my reactive behaviour as an adult, when I would unconsciously preempt abandonment and either cut ties first and run, or vanish without a trace. It’s taken many years and a lot of work to turn that key and become conscious to this pain. But what do we do once we become aware of our wounds? Taking responsibility for our coping mechanisms is a good start. Making a commitment to breaking the cycle comes next.
Mum cracked the case, dashed to Bunnings, then spent the evening cleansing a batch of fresh keys. “Better.” she said. “No baggage.”
We can often sense similar pain harbored by those around us, and find it's easier to help others dress their wounds than it is to dress our own. In the Ancient stories, Chiron couldn’t heal his suffering alone, no matter how hard he tried. He teaches us that it’s okay to ask for help from others when we need it. Talking with your loved ones helps. Counselling does wonders too.
Our Chiron Workshop Table at Muses of Mystery
In the past it's been very difficult for me to talk, but you get better at it with age I think, and I’m proud that I’ve been able to help unlock my voice by sharing my work. Now that the lock is open, I’m not sure when I’ll have the courage to finally throw away the key, nor am I sure if I’ll ever want to. Healing ain’t linear after all, so I might hang on to my key for now in case I ever need it again, and who knows? Someone else might find it useful later on down the track, once it’s been cleansed of course.
The Moon is full in Aries tonight The Sun will also be shedding light on Chiron, who waits side by side with the Moon, ready to help you turn the key. Gently as you go, and thank you again for helping me feel so welcome. Happy Trails to you.
